I want so badly to believe that there is truth that love is real.

I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the feeling that your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

Well I do.

Words.  Words.

So powerful, yet so insignificant.  They're made up of little tiny pictures, hieroglyphics, that point to a certain sound.  The sounds are memorized in your lexicon.  The intelligent have larger capacities for memorization of the hieroglyphics.

The intelligent have the capacity to learn entire new layouts of language.  They can look at Arabic or Mandarin Chinese and see the meanings through what we interpret as chaos.  Their eyes turn the upside down world into coherent thoughts.

Or so we think.

We think that logic is logic, that logic creates a structure to the world.  Logic is flawed.  Logic is human thought and therefore, inherently flawed.  What if our mathematics, our sciences are wrong?  What if there is an invisible man, an invisible puppeteer, making all of this happen, making the world seem intelligible, pretending that there are consistent forces knocking little atoms around?

L

i

t

t

l

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atoms.

Smaller than this period.  Smaller than fleas, than specks, than pixels.  In fact, they make up the specks.  They make up the pixels.  They make up the Marilyn Monroes of the world.  They make up the gold, the Cadillacs, the mansions.  And they make up the shit of the world.  The piles of feces stinking up the oceans.  The worms wiggling through the rain onto the sidewalk to fry, to stick that metaphorical gun to their foreheads.

Those worms are just atoms.  I am just a pile of atoms.  You are just a pile of atoms.  

You are insignificant.  You are unworthy.  Your life does not matter.  Even if you do manage to make your mark on the world, it is just temporary.  Even Abraham Lincoln will be forgotten at some point.  But it doesn't matter.  It just does not matter.  Why do you care whether you leave a legacy?  You will be dust.  You will be incapable of caring, of regretting, of wishing, of hurting, of loving.  You will still be insignificant.

There are over six billion people in the world.  Your thoughts do not matter.  Your words do not matter.