Predetermination

I understand.  I have stopped criticizing myself for things, for the way I live my life.  I understand now.

Every moment is the result of every preceding moment.  We do not really have any decisions, any choices.  What will happen, will happen.  Every moment is predetermined.  It is the sum of all the preceding moments.  There is only one thing that I could be doing right now, and it is what I am doing, sitting in the McGill library typing a philosophical journal entry.  It is ingrained in my DNA, in my environment.  We can’t hold things against others, because what happens just happens.  We can't hold things against ourselves, because what happens just happens.

I have to accept the mistakes that I will make tomorrow, because they are inevitable.  They will lead to successes farther on down the line and more mistakes.  I will become the person I will become, and there is nothing I can do about it.  If I work harder, which I will, it will be the result of all of these moments.

Ha maybe I’ll be a Calvinist someday.